Tag: Deaf/HOH

It’s Tone, Not Words

On By Glenice SIn Assistance Dog, Can-Do-Canines, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Assistance Dog, What I HearLeave a comment

One of the things that has changed over the years with my hearing is my speech. I lost my hearing gradually over about 30 years. My mother and pediatrician  suspected I had hearing loss when I was a child and it was a confirmed diagnosis when I was in my teens. As a young adult the suspicion that it was a progressive loss was determined to be the case. So, in the formative years, I had almost normal hearing and good speech reflecting what I heard. With the progressive loss, I didn’t always know what sounds I was missing. It was the same with my speech. I didn’t realize that my enunciation was changing as I could not hear the consonants I was neglecting to form when I talked. 

My speech changed and no one told me until after I got my cochlear implant. Prior to getting my cochlear implant, my speech was becoming muddled as I was told by my family members. They did not bring that to my attention when it was happening. Had they told me, I probably would have stopped talking. 

After getting my first cochlear implant, my speech began to improve. I was able to distinguish between consonant sounds, hear my own voice and therefore recovered enunciation and clarity when I talked. I had the words.

What goes with clear words to make good speech? Intonation. With my cochlear implants I can hear intonation but I hadn’t necessarily applied it to my own manner of speaking. This was brought to my attention when I was training with Yates, my Can-Do-Canines hearing assistance dog. I could say, “Good boy,” but I didn’t add enough cheerfulness and enthusiasm. This was noted by my coaches. They encouraged me to add that to my intonation when rewarding Yates for his proper responses and good behavior. Dogs hear and respond to tone and this is clearly reflected in Yates body language. I can see the difference.

When I speak to Yates with cheerfulness in my voice I can hold his attention. When I add excitement his tail wags harder and he comes in close for a back scratch. Sometimes he needs redirection and the word, “No,” is not effective. Instead I was coached to say, “Anh Anh,” with a tone that is kind of sharp and irritating. This sound usually works. 

I have come to realize that my manner of speaking is more monotone than I thought. So I have worked at adding intonation when I talk to Yates that is compelling to him. This involves lifting my voice into a range I’m not use to hearing from myself. It is fun to see his reaction when I apply more cheerfulness to my speech. He will look at me with bright eyes and interest while sometimes wagging his tail and tilting his head.  The cuteness of those looks is a joy to behold!

A Punch of Reality

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Deaf, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, HOH, Thoughts, What I Hear1 Comment

A Few Minutes of Bad, A Lifetime of Good

I don’t hear all the time. When I do hear, when my cochlear implant processors are on, I hear quite well. In fact, I think I do so well that my deafness is forgotten by me as well as others. This can lead to a long stretch of some pretty comfortable living. Routines develop, communication patterns are set and we live our lives – and then something will happen that serves as a reminder of what is.

My nights are silent. The very first part of my day is silent. After my hair is dry and styled I put on my processors and the hearing part of my day begins. Once in a while, something or somebody needs my attention before I’m ready to hear. When this happens I get a big dose of in your face reminder that “I am deaf.”

This morning after my shower but before I had dried my hair, my husband popped his head in and handed me my phone. I had some texts that I read, but they were not the messages he needed me to see. He motioned for me to put my processors on and I reminded him my hair was wet. I could see he was frustrated as he quickly left the room. I said, “Fine,” and headed to my nightstand to put an ear on. Before I got it connected he came back with a hastily scribbled note telling me my daughter would call in about ten minutes. He was anxious to get back to the office. I was left feeling like I had just been punched.

I was reminded of something Rush Limbaugh said when he was finally ready to talk about his hearing loss and cochlear implants. He said, “You know, losing your hearing, having a hearing loss, that’s the only disability that makes people mad at you. People don’t get mad at people that can’t see. They don’t get mad at people that can’t walk. They don’t get mad at people that can’t taste or smell anything. But you get mad at people that can’t hear cause you can’t relate to it. You think if the person would just listen better, or pay more attention, that they’d be able to hear. And it doesn’t work that way. When you can’t hear, you can’t hear.” I remember when I read this transcript the first time. First, I was thrilled that Rush Limbaugh was finally sharing his experience and second, he absolutely nailed it with his observation of others showing anger/frustration with a deaf/HOH person.

I see more than what I believe a lot of people realize. From a lifetime of experience compensating for hearing loss, I read body language like I read a book and I don’t miss much. I could “see” my husbands frustration. I allowed his reaction to affect me and I was feeling bad; however, through self-talk I moved myself to a better place. I didn’t want to start my day in a negative mental state. I thought, “I have been here so many times before, I can pull myself from this place.”

I started thinking through my catalog of positives. One of the greatest positives is that I’m am married to a really caring and loving man. So we had a few minutes of bad this morning, but we have had a lifetime of loving and supporting each other. More times than I can count, he carried us through when my hearing loss created hurdles for me and I didn’t always have the tools or the energy to get over them. For example, handling all the phone calls during the years when I couldn’t successfully use the phone with strangers.

No, it is not the last time I will feel the punch of my reality, but the amount of time I allow negative feelings as a reaction to something or somebody is shrinking. Perusing positive thoughts and having had the opportunity to share my feelings I am back on track to feeling good. I’m getting better and faster at replacing the punched-in-the-gut feeling with happiness and peace and I am grateful, so grateful that these tools can be learned.