Category: What I Hear

Making a Come Back

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Jesus Christ Superstar, Music, Theater, What I Hear2 Comments

While at a holiday party this past winter, I found out that our local theater was planning to do the stage show “Jesus Christ Superstar.” I had seen this show before my hearing loss was diagnosed progressive and when I still had almost normal hearing. It is one of my favorite musicals. 

When my daughters were in marching band I did a lot of volunteer sewing for the color-guard. I was missing the sewing and creating that goes into putting together a show so I decided to volunteer to help with costuming LTO’s (Little Theater of Owatonna) production of “Jesus Christ Superstar.”  About a month ago we got started on the process and I have been going to the theater a couple nights a week. I’m sewing costumes for five of the characters. 

This evening I happened to be walking into the theater on my way to the costuming room when the cast was singing the “Hosannah” song. I stopped to listen and was completely drawn in. It was beautiful. I sat down and ended up staying for quite awhile as they continued to run the scene. 

Although I have had my cochlear implants for quite a few years, giving me a fair share of CI moments (as we cochlear implant users call them), this was another CI moment  in a couple of ways. First, hearing the voices raised in song as they carried through the theater was awesome. You see, the last time I attended a production in that theater, my youngest daughter was playing a major role in “The Crucible” and my hearing was so bad that I had to read the script before going to see her perform. I had stopped going to plays there because I couldn’t get the dialogue on my own. Being able to hear and understand songs in this theater that I stopped going to many years ago felt almost unbelievable.

The second moment is a little different in nature as it goes beyond hearing. I lost my hearing gradually over 30 years and little by little I gave up activities and relationships in my life as I became uncomfortable with my inability to hear. It was easier to shrink my world than it was to battle the challenges of communication I faced every day. I looked around the theater at the people noting friends from many years ago and the new friends I’m making and realized that I am no longer minimizing my world. I’m growing it, jumping in, and just like the stage production of “Jesus Christ Superstar,” I’m making a come back. 


Grandma’s Toy Box

On By Glenice SIn Hearing Environment, Listening, Thoughts, What I Hear1 Comment

Sometimes it takes me awhile to pick up after the grandkids leave. I think I like the feeling of them being here for awhile after they have left. Since the vacuuming needed to be done, I finally got around to picking up the few toys that were left out. Tossing them into the toy bin, I heard the electronic banjo chime a tune. These toys shut off automatically, so I just walked away to another chore. 
In the next room I was sorting through linens when I heard the banjo playing notes again. It has been a few years since the first time my toy box for the grandkids made noise, but I do remember that first time! We have a goofy looking rolling toy that giggles. For some reason that toy started giggling while it was just sitting in the toy box. I was sitting in my favorite chair folding clothes late in the evening when this happened. Scared the dickens out of me! I was so shook, it didn’t take me long to dig to the bottom of the toy box and pull that thing out. I had to make sure that was the culprit of that eery laughing sound. When the banjo went off again, I was pretty calm, having been through this before.
I continued to pick up around the room when the banjo went off again. Okay, I thought, this one needs to be turned off. I went over to the toy bin, pulled out the banjo and slid the switch to off. Thank goodness it has an off switch. While I was doing that, I heard Mickey Mouse announce himself. Oh boy! When pulling out the banjo, I had activated the Mickey Mouse guitar. Okay, I decided to shut that one off too – only it doesn’t have an off switch. I have to trust it. 
Believe it or not – while writing this, the toys in the toy box actually shifted. The noise practically made me jump out of my chair! I’m beginning to wonder what the toys do when I’m not here. Grandma’s toy box – a different Toy Story.

Clear Voice

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Mapping, What I Hear1 Comment

People often ask and want to understand how I hear with my cochlear implant. When trying to help others understand, I and other CI users have described pictures. For instance, if moderate deafness is a blurry picture, then hearing aids bring the picture into focus. When you are profound to severely deaf and you can’t make out the picture at all, it is just a smear of colors – a cochlear implant brings the picture back so you can make out what it is. The degree of blurriness varies amongst users. My cochlear implant experience has been great and I have a pretty sharp picture that includes bright colors representing my enjoyment of music. 
The company that makes my cochlear implant, Advanced Bionics (AB), is a progressive company that continues to seek ways to bring better hearing to the deaf and hard of hearing. They keep fine tuning the picture and since I got my first cochlear implant in 2001, AB has presented their cochlear implant users with three advances in the processing technology. The last improvement I received was like getting a high definition television. Today I got the third. It is called “Clear Voice” and my hearing picture just went 3-D. 
Clear Voice processing is able to identify background noise that may interfere with understanding speech and then lowers it to a level that gets it out of the way for better speech comprehension. There are three levels to choose from, low, medium and high. 
While I was being fitted with Clear Voice, there was a steady rain coming down pattering on the window of my audiologist’s office. When she first turned Clear Voice on for me, I immediately noticed the softening of the sound of the rain. She had it set to medium. When she put the Clear Voice on high, the sound of the rain disappeared. Then we tried the low setting, which I liked. I could still hear the rain, but it felt pushed back and out of the way of the conversation with my audiologist.
For my three programs, I decided to go with Clear Voice low on one map, medium on the second and my old favorite map in the third slot. I had my processors set to the first map with Clear Voice low for the drive home. I was planning to test the sound of music during the drive and I discovered that I really like Clear Voice low to listen to music. This map pushed the car and road noise down enough so that the music sounded wonderful. 
This technology is amazing! I think I’m going to love hearing with Clear Voice. It is a whole new picture!

Thankful for Health and Hearing

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, What I HearLeave a comment

There were some rough patches for our family during the 2011 holiday season which served to enlarge our blessings with the contrast of getting through some moments to celebrating others. Due to illnesses with a daughter and grandson, I found myself in emergency and hospital rooms more times than I care to remember over a two month period. We all value health and it is during these times we are reminded to be grateful for it. So we start off 2012 recovering, being well and looking forward to living well.
During one of my daughter’s hospital stays, I had the opportunity to share how I hear with a senior resident. He said they tend to go over cochlear implants fairly quickly in medical school and he was truly interested in how I hear with them. He was genuinely surprised at how well I hear. The conversation moved along without any phrases like “pardon me” or “I’m sorry, what did you say?” The doctor admitted that had no one told him, he would not have been able to tell that I don’t have natural hearing. It was fun to share with him and I enjoy every opportunity to educate medical professionals. Fortunately that conversation took place when the doctor and his team were preparing to discharge my daughter and things were looking up that day.
It was approximately a month later, on Christmas morning, that I was in the emergency room with another daughter and her son. Her husband was unable to go with her because he was sick and we were taking their one month old baby boy, Jared, to the hospital. I was glad I was able to be there for them. It is hard when they are so young and blood draws and an IV are needed. I watched as the RN explained to Paula, my daughter, how hard it can be to get an IV into a baby and that often they have to try twice. Upon hearing this I immediately began to pray for Jared asking God to bless the nurse’s skill and help her to get it the first time so that this precious baby boy only had to be poked once.
Paula was helping to hold Jared and I was sitting in a chair at the side of the room. The nurse had her back to me and I had my head down praying. After giving it to God, I sat there just listening and waiting. The nurse and lab tech were taking there time with the process. When I sensed the RN was ready I was holding my breath. Before I took in any air, I heard her say, “Well there is your Christmas present. That is a Christmas miracle right there!” The IV was in on the first try. I sighed a prayer of relief, “Thank You Jesus,” and then I smiled for Jared. When I realized how well I had heard the nurse I smiled again and sent another thank you to the Lord for my hearing. A little while later, a diagnosis was made and Jared was admitted to the hospital for treatment. He was discharged after three days and continued to recover at home.
On a daily basis, I experience the extreme of complete silence to being able to hear most everything once my AB cochlear implant processors are on.  You would think after ten years that I wouldn’t still be amazed by this, but I am. I will never take my hearing, my health, or the health of my family for granted. Now that I have had some recent reminders of how precious all that is, I will try to remember to thank the Lord for it all every day.

Subtle changes…mean a lot to me.

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Listening, Mapping, Music, What I Hear2 Comments

In my previous post, I wrote about my recent mapping and the fact that it had been almost two years since my last mapping. There I described some of the changes that were made and used the terms; some gains, and small adjustments. In day to day hearing, subtle changes to a map might not be that notable, but today I had the chance to listen to a CD while in the car for about 50 minutes. The difference in the music was enough to choke me up. In the sound of music the changes were very notable. 
I was listening to Styx Live. This CD is different from a studio recording. Some of the songs are longer and they talk in between sets. I used to skip around if the song was too long and I couldn’t always hear what they were saying when they talked because of the crowd noise. The music and talking sounded so good today, I didn’t want to miss a thing. 
It will be a joy listening to my music collection. There are all kinds of new sounds there! This motivates me to continue to reach for perfect bionic hearing. Though it may be in small steps – every gain counts. I know the perfect bionic ear is coming. If not in my lifetime, maybe yours.

Still Changing and Learning for Better Hearing

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Listening, Mapping, What I HearLeave a comment

After a long stretch of not being mapped, I worked with a new audiologist to map my cochlear implant hearing. Since it was his first time working with me, we did word recognition tests in the booth with both ears and then each ear alone. Both ears together were at 86%, left ear alone 80% and right ear alone 20%. I was a bit disappointed that the right ear has not come along as well as the left – but I love the hearing I get with both together and would not choose to give it up.
After the assessment, we then set up for mapping. I did the tones on each side and did have some gains on the right as well as small adjustments on the left. It had been a long time (almost two years) since I was mapped. It felt good to be getting reset. Since it had been so long, I couldn’t remember exactly how we mapped for both ears together. My audi asked me if I wanted to map and attempt to match the ears electrode by electrode. I knew I had not done that so I decided we should go for it. 
We started with the first low tone. Wow! They sounded very different. On my left side, my first implant, I have the Clarion HiFocus Electrode with Positioner. The sound of the first low tone is rich and deep and seemed normal for its position on the scale. On my right side, which has the 90K HiFocus Electrode, the tone sounded like it is several notes higher than the left side. My starting point there is not as low and rich as the left side. If you compare it to the song Do Re Mi, the left starts at Do and the right starts at Mi. We talked a bit about why the two sides may sound so different and then we decided to finish the mapping based on how speech sounds.
Before this mapping, I thought a lot about how I use my cochlear implants. I’m not one to change the settings very often, so three slots seems to be plenty; however, while we were talking about it, I think I could have used five! I decided to have my daily map in slot one. In two we put the telecoil on as it seems I have had more opportunity this past year to use it. Slot three is my noise program. My new audi was pretty aggressive with the settings for shutting down background noise. In recent years, I have not had the IDR below 60. He put it at 40 and we talked for a bit. It was great, but I decided I could handle a little more background sound and asked him to put it at 50. He did that and also removed the boost to the low tones.
I had the opportunity to fly this weekend and tried out the noise program while traveling. It was great! I could still hear the announcements but I didn’t have to put up with the drone of the airport noise or the airplane noise. I simply told my husband to be sure he was near me when he wanted to talk. 
I have had my first cochlear implant for ten years and with the help of audiologists’, I’m still finding better ways to hear. Although I have been bummed when an audiologist I have gotten comfortable with retires or moves on in his/her career, it is always a joy to meet someone new and learn from their experience. 

Fast Talkers

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, Thoughts, What I Hear8 Comments

I know that I’m fortunate that I am a cochlear implant user that can use the phone and is no longer afraid to answer it. I really do as well as most hearing people. Today I spoke with a person that spoke so fast I don’t know how anybody could understand her.


Really fast talking should be against the law. These people should be cited and fined for saying more than eight syllables per second and should not be allowed to work a business phone if they talk so fast you think they may be speaking in a different language.


When I could not understand the name of the company she was calling from, I felt like I was having flashbacks to the days when I started giving up on communicating on the phone. She wanted my business ID number, so I figured it was an employee of one of my clients and I had to make sure I knew who I was talking to before I gave out this sensitive information.


I gave in to something I now do only when I have to and told her I hear with cochlear implants and that I needed her to slow down. “Okay,” she said and then she said the name of her company again – and I missed it. Unh. I hate this. She explained what form she needed filled out and I got that. Did I have a fax number she could send it to? “Yes, I do,” I said and then I asked her again to tell me what company she was calling from. Out it came and I could practically see it speed past my ears and out of reach before I could make out what it was. Aaaaahhhhh! I was getting really frustrated, but I tried to keep a smile on my face and calmly asked her again to tell me the name of her company. Swish, there it went and I had to ask her again. I took a breath and politely told her I missed it again, could she please say it one more time and then I focused and hoped I would catch it this time. She said it again and slowed it down just enough that I got the first two words and I said, “Oh! it’s ____ _____ _____. Thank You.” What a relief.


This is the stuff that wears on my confidence. Fortunately there was quite a bit of the conversation that I did get, so I know that it wasn’t all me. Sometimes I wonder, can they really listen and hear as fast as they can talk?


Ski Boots

On By Glenice SIn Activities, Listening, Thoughts, What I Hear4 Comments



It was a lot of fun skiing last Wednesday. The temperatures were great, not too cold or too warm so you weren’t sweating in your ski gear.


I hadn’t been skiing since the spring of 2008 when Paul and I were at Whistler. Also, I hadn’t used my own gear for several years choosing instead to rent when traveling a long ways and flying. Since my gear hadn’t seen a lot of time on the slopes, I figured it would be fine to use it at this local ski site.


When getting ready for our ski outing, Jana tried on her ski boots and discovered that they were too small. She decided to rent boots. When we got to Welch Village, Jana and I suited up and grabbed our gear, me with my boots, skis and poles and Jana with just her skis and poles.


We trudged up to the ski racks, leaving our skis and poles and then headed for the ticket window to purchase lift tickets and Jana’s rental boots. Jana discovered it was an all or nothing proposition with the rental of equipment. She had to get skis and poles too, as they would not adjust her skis to their boots. We decided that she would go get her rentals and I would take her skis and poles back to the car while she was getting set up.


I grabbed Jana’s skis and poles from the ski rack and headed back towards the parking lot. About six steps after leaving Jana, I heard a loud crack. While trying to figure out what made the noise, I glanced ahead of me and saw a weird shaped piece of white plastic skitter to a stop about ten feet in front of me. “Oh! My!” I said as I realized it was the toe of my right ski boot! Change of plans I thought as I picked up the toe of my boot and then promptly turned around to go tell Jana that I would be renting too.


She was just about to start filling out the form at the counter. I called her name and she turned around to look. Holding up the toe of my boot, I said, “Jana, I’m renting too!” She came over to see what had happened. We laughed a little and then decided we would both go back to the car to regroup.


About three steps outside of the rental building, the other boot started to crack up. Not wanting to leave any pieces of sharp plastic laying around, I stooped to pick up the chips as they fell. We turned the corner and walked a few more steps when the left toe went flying out in front of us. I began to wonder if I would have anything left on my feet when we found the car. Then the giggles started and every few steps I took, more of my boots fell off! We walked one aisle too far. As I was walking back between the cars, finally with my car in sight, the bottom fell out of my left foot. Feeling like I had nothing but stockings on my feet, we were finally there. I peeled off the remains of my ski boots. After the laughter, we made a new plan and headed back to the ticket office for a rental package.


Trusting My Ears

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening, Music, What I Hear4 Comments

We had our piano tuned in November. When the girls come home, they enjoy playing some of their favorite songs as well as Christmas music and complain if the piano hasn’t been tuned, so this year I did manage to get the tuning scheduled and done.


While trimming the Christmas tree, I started thinking about the Christmas concert at the high school and the tradition they have carried out for many years of singing “Beautiful Savior” to close the concert. They invite choir alumni on stage to sing this hymn with the present choir and then the audience is invited to join in for the final verse.


I was never a soloist, but I participated in choir at high school and church through my junior year. Now with my cochlear implants, I have been trying to listen to my own voice and get the confidence back to sing. Since the piano had recently been tuned, I decided to pick out the melody of “Beautiful Savior” and try matching my voice to the notes. My thoughts were, “My piano is in tune, my hearing is great with my cochlear implants, this should work.”


As I picked my way through the first verse, I felt I was doing pretty good at matching my voice to the notes, but it sounded a bit off. I stopped singing and played the melody one note at a time and one spot sounded off to me, so I played the top two notes at a time, still off. Because I was unsure if I could trust my digital ears to be an accurate judge of whether or not a piano is in tune, I asked my husband when he came home to listen to the notes I was playing and tell me what he thought. To my surprise he said, “Yep, that one note sounds like it could be a little off.”


I emailed our piano tuner and he said he would come back and check it out. Our piano was Paul’s mother’s and is quite old. This piano has not been tuned regularly in the past ten years so it is not unusual for the tuning not to hold. The piano tuner came back, made some adjustments and now it sounds as good as the old piano can.


I have known for a while now that I would prefer a new digital piano and someday I hope to have one. From this old piano I learned that my new hearing is pretty awesome and I can trust what I think I hear. I remember the notes and how they are suppose to sound and my brain sings in tune. Now if my ears and my brain and my voice would all work together – maybe I could be that soloist I have always wanted to be. (*Dream*)