Category: Hearing Loss

Ten Years Ago

On By Glenice SIn 911, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening3 Comments

Ten years ago today I was healing from my first cochlear implant surgery and waiting for my activation day. I was recovered enough to go back to work and since my job did not require phone communication, I was back at my desk doing proofing and data entry. I was living in complete silence with hope that the cochlear implant would ease my struggles with communication.
It was just another day to pass while waiting for the big activation day. The waiting was hard as my mind was filled with constant wondering about what hearing with a cochlear implant was going to be like. The distraction of work was a good thing until there was a change in the people around me. I could see them talking, but nobody would tell me what was going on. The co-worker next to me was crying and though she was usually willing to talk to me so I could read her lips, she was unable to even look at me and tell me what was going on – until she was able to say, “Paula is okay.” My daughter Paula is a flight attendant with United Airlines.
After my mother-in-law had called the office and told the receptionist to tell me that she talked with Paula and that she was on the ground in Cincinnati, my co-workers then did their best to tell me what was happening. Some of them decided to leave work early so I did too. I wanted to know more about what was going on and I needed a TV with closed captioning and the comfort of familiar communication with family. At home, I watched in silence the horrors of the attacks and the updates the media provided. The captioning on my TV being my link to the world.
Today, I remember the horror of September 11, 2001. I pray for my country and my fellow Americans and find comfort in the tributes and memorials created in the process of healing. As I reflect on all this, I am reminded how far our souls travel from sadness to joy and silence to sound. 

Getting off the Roller Coaster

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, ThoughtsLeave a comment

Something wonderful happens to people after they have had their cochlear implants for a while. They get on with life!


As a late-deafened adult and cochlear implant recipient, I know the emotional roller coaster of losing one’s hearing; the life and relationship issues that go with that; and finally the high of getting sound back. Definitely “emotional roller coaster” is the right descriptive phrase.


Have you ever ridden a roller coaster? What can you do when you are riding one? About all you can do is ride. You might talk with the person next to you, laugh, or yell, or scream, but you won’t be composing a report or holding a meeting.


As my hearing loss progressed, I participated in life less and less. I quit going to movies, parties or anything that involved a large noisy group or a large room that might echo sound. I stopped using the phone and pretty much limited my communication to family and close friends. Anything beyond that was intimidating, like standing up in a roller coaster. If I had to be on this ride, then I was going to stay seated in my little box and hang on so I felt safe. I might look at the scenery once in a while, but it was easier not to.


I like the feeling of getting off a roller coaster. That first step of putting solid ground under your feet feels so reassuring. I love looking around and being able to walk away and put some distance between me and a ride that I don’t like.


With my cochlear implants, I can get off the ride. I’ve got the ground under my feet again. I can walk away and join the world for the day and I don’t have to get back on until the sun is down and the roller coaster sleeps.


It is fun though, especially when you don’t like a ride, to go on the ride with friends. I attended my first Hearing Loss Association of America (HLAA) convention this year in June. It was a wonderful experience and the first time I really enjoyed the ride, the hearing loss roller coaster. When we get on the roller coaster together, we hug, we smile, we share the ride and we laugh!


I have noticed that many of the friends I have made through my blog, the Bionic Ear Association, the HLAA and the online forum, Hearing Journey, are getting off the roller coaster and walking away. They have other things to do and lives to live. What a wonderful thing this is!


I Can’t Hear You

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening5 Comments

I am the oldest of five. For the most part, my siblings and I share similar political beliefs. Unfortunately, our parents seem to feel quite the opposite, so if we happen to end up talking politics at a family gathering, a heated discussion may escalate into a shouting match. We are learning to avoid certain subjects.


Last time I was visiting my parents, while my mother and I were preparing breakfast, the conversation started dancing around a sensitive subject. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I happened to announce where I stood on the issue. My dad didn’t agree and started on a tirade denouncing what I believe. Immediately I regretted having said anything but I was not going to back down. My mother was getting uncomfortable and wanted everyone to stop – which was fine with me, but dad was not getting the message. I was at the kitchen sink wiping a dish and dad had his back to me. I decided to give him the message visually. I put the dish down, wiped my hands, walked around to get in front of him and when he was looking at me, I reached up and with exaggeration I knocked my CI headpieces down to my shoulders. He got it. He looked at me and his mouth stopped moving. There I was in my silence feeling like a naughty child. I didn’t enjoy disrespecting my father, and I didn’t enjoy being disrespected.


I have shared the story of that incident with my girls and one of them said she finds herself wondering how many children with cochlear implants or hearing aids, have, or eventually will, take their hearing off in the face of being scolded or lectured. I suppose it is the equivalent of a hearing child plugging her ears with her fingers and taunting, “I can’t hear you.” With a CI it is much more dramatic and effective – but still naughty.

HLAA

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss4 Comments

I have been thinking about this for awhile and I finally decided to go to the HLAA Convention in Milwaukee in June. I have never been to one before and I’m really looking forward to it.

Last spring I attended a mentor training for the Bionic Ear Association. That was the first time I was part of a group with the commonality of hearing loss. I really enjoyed the feeling of kinship and continue to enjoy the friendships that developed. I’m really looking forward to this convention and hanging out with my friends.

A Book Review – "Wired for Sound"

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Thoughts5 Comments

I recently finished reading Wired for Sound: a journey into hearing by Beverly Biderman. Beverly writes about her personal experiences as a person with severe to profound hearing loss who chooses to pursue receiving a cochlear implant when it becomes available to her. An excellent author, she also writes beyond her own experience and eloquently shares information about deaf issues as well as technical issues regarding hearing with cochlear implants. Some of the technical information is becoming outdated as this book was written over ten years ago, but as a history of the development of cochlear implants most of the information still applies. This is a very good book that covers a lot of territory regarding deafness and regaining sound. I recommend this book for anyone contemplating getting a cochlear implant.

Fast Talkers

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, Thoughts, What I Hear8 Comments

I know that I’m fortunate that I am a cochlear implant user that can use the phone and is no longer afraid to answer it. I really do as well as most hearing people. Today I spoke with a person that spoke so fast I don’t know how anybody could understand her.


Really fast talking should be against the law. These people should be cited and fined for saying more than eight syllables per second and should not be allowed to work a business phone if they talk so fast you think they may be speaking in a different language.


When I could not understand the name of the company she was calling from, I felt like I was having flashbacks to the days when I started giving up on communicating on the phone. She wanted my business ID number, so I figured it was an employee of one of my clients and I had to make sure I knew who I was talking to before I gave out this sensitive information.


I gave in to something I now do only when I have to and told her I hear with cochlear implants and that I needed her to slow down. “Okay,” she said and then she said the name of her company again – and I missed it. Unh. I hate this. She explained what form she needed filled out and I got that. Did I have a fax number she could send it to? “Yes, I do,” I said and then I asked her again to tell me what company she was calling from. Out it came and I could practically see it speed past my ears and out of reach before I could make out what it was. Aaaaahhhhh! I was getting really frustrated, but I tried to keep a smile on my face and calmly asked her again to tell me the name of her company. Swish, there it went and I had to ask her again. I took a breath and politely told her I missed it again, could she please say it one more time and then I focused and hoped I would catch it this time. She said it again and slowed it down just enough that I got the first two words and I said, “Oh! it’s ____ _____ _____. Thank You.” What a relief.


This is the stuff that wears on my confidence. Fortunately there was quite a bit of the conversation that I did get, so I know that it wasn’t all me. Sometimes I wonder, can they really listen and hear as fast as they can talk?


Trusting My Ears

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening, Music, What I Hear4 Comments

We had our piano tuned in November. When the girls come home, they enjoy playing some of their favorite songs as well as Christmas music and complain if the piano hasn’t been tuned, so this year I did manage to get the tuning scheduled and done.


While trimming the Christmas tree, I started thinking about the Christmas concert at the high school and the tradition they have carried out for many years of singing “Beautiful Savior” to close the concert. They invite choir alumni on stage to sing this hymn with the present choir and then the audience is invited to join in for the final verse.


I was never a soloist, but I participated in choir at high school and church through my junior year. Now with my cochlear implants, I have been trying to listen to my own voice and get the confidence back to sing. Since the piano had recently been tuned, I decided to pick out the melody of “Beautiful Savior” and try matching my voice to the notes. My thoughts were, “My piano is in tune, my hearing is great with my cochlear implants, this should work.”


As I picked my way through the first verse, I felt I was doing pretty good at matching my voice to the notes, but it sounded a bit off. I stopped singing and played the melody one note at a time and one spot sounded off to me, so I played the top two notes at a time, still off. Because I was unsure if I could trust my digital ears to be an accurate judge of whether or not a piano is in tune, I asked my husband when he came home to listen to the notes I was playing and tell me what he thought. To my surprise he said, “Yep, that one note sounds like it could be a little off.”


I emailed our piano tuner and he said he would come back and check it out. Our piano was Paul’s mother’s and is quite old. This piano has not been tuned regularly in the past ten years so it is not unusual for the tuning not to hold. The piano tuner came back, made some adjustments and now it sounds as good as the old piano can.


I have known for a while now that I would prefer a new digital piano and someday I hope to have one. From this old piano I learned that my new hearing is pretty awesome and I can trust what I think I hear. I remember the notes and how they are suppose to sound and my brain sings in tune. Now if my ears and my brain and my voice would all work together – maybe I could be that soloist I have always wanted to be. (*Dream*)

Beautiful Blogger Award

On By Glenice SIn Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, Thoughts5 Comments

Beautiful Blogger Award & Nominations!


Speak Up Librarian nominated me for this award and I am honored. Thank you Speak Up Librarian.


Now here’s my job:
The rules:
1) Thank the person who nominated me for this award.
2) Copy the award & place it on my blog.
3) Link to the person who nominated me for this award.
4) Tell us 7 interesting things about yourself.
5) Nominate 7 bloggers.
6) Post links to the 7 blogs I nominate.

Okay, here we go. I may be repeating some nominations, but it can’t be helped.
(1) Speak Up Librarian – It is always a joy to read her reviews of books or television shows, check out her pictures and share her thoughts about the challenges of being hearing impaired.
(2) Mog Renewed – Has shared her journey from choosing to get a cochlear implant, waiting for the day and now discovering the sound it brings her. She punctuates this with delightful pictures and ancedotes.
(3) Jelly – You know you will get cupcakes, but the variety is a constant surprise!
(4) My CI is Amazing – A friend that I met on another forum, she shares her experience and offers her caring support to others with the same hearing challenges.
(5) Laura’s Medical Journey – Another brave woman facing challenges with a great attitude and sense of humor.
(6) Surround Sound – A cochlear implant user and busy Mom that shares her hearing experiences and supports others in their hearing journeys.
(7) Elliott’s Journey – Ellliott’s mom does a great job of sharing their journey as her adorable son learns and lives life with his cochlear implants.

“Tell us 7 interesting things about yourself”

Interesting, hhmmm, is that one of those things that’s in the eyes of the beholder?

(1) I was a Brownie, then a Girl Scout and finally a Cadet.
(2) I sang in the church and school choirs until my last year in high school when I failed to make the Concert Choir.
(3) I wanted to be a Wave in the Navy, but by the age of 18 my hearing loss had progressed to the point where I couldn’t pass the physical.
(4) I had a motorcycle when I was 19.
(5) After a van hit me when I was driving my motorcycle, I traded it in for a Fiat X19 (2 seater sports car) – I loved that car!
(6) From the time I started thinking I would be a mother someday, I always knew I would have three girls. I just knew.
(7) The man I married was my kindergarten sweetheart. He kissed me at the drinking fountain and I told the teacher!