Category: Bilateral

Subtle changes…mean a lot to me.

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Listening, Mapping, Music, What I Hear2 Comments

In my previous post, I wrote about my recent mapping and the fact that it had been almost two years since my last mapping. There I described some of the changes that were made and used the terms; some gains, and small adjustments. In day to day hearing, subtle changes to a map might not be that notable, but today I had the chance to listen to a CD while in the car for about 50 minutes. The difference in the music was enough to choke me up. In the sound of music the changes were very notable. 
I was listening to Styx Live. This CD is different from a studio recording. Some of the songs are longer and they talk in between sets. I used to skip around if the song was too long and I couldn’t always hear what they were saying when they talked because of the crowd noise. The music and talking sounded so good today, I didn’t want to miss a thing. 
It will be a joy listening to my music collection. There are all kinds of new sounds there! This motivates me to continue to reach for perfect bionic hearing. Though it may be in small steps – every gain counts. I know the perfect bionic ear is coming. If not in my lifetime, maybe yours.

Still Changing and Learning for Better Hearing

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Listening, Mapping, What I HearLeave a comment

After a long stretch of not being mapped, I worked with a new audiologist to map my cochlear implant hearing. Since it was his first time working with me, we did word recognition tests in the booth with both ears and then each ear alone. Both ears together were at 86%, left ear alone 80% and right ear alone 20%. I was a bit disappointed that the right ear has not come along as well as the left – but I love the hearing I get with both together and would not choose to give it up.
After the assessment, we then set up for mapping. I did the tones on each side and did have some gains on the right as well as small adjustments on the left. It had been a long time (almost two years) since I was mapped. It felt good to be getting reset. Since it had been so long, I couldn’t remember exactly how we mapped for both ears together. My audi asked me if I wanted to map and attempt to match the ears electrode by electrode. I knew I had not done that so I decided we should go for it. 
We started with the first low tone. Wow! They sounded very different. On my left side, my first implant, I have the Clarion HiFocus Electrode with Positioner. The sound of the first low tone is rich and deep and seemed normal for its position on the scale. On my right side, which has the 90K HiFocus Electrode, the tone sounded like it is several notes higher than the left side. My starting point there is not as low and rich as the left side. If you compare it to the song Do Re Mi, the left starts at Do and the right starts at Mi. We talked a bit about why the two sides may sound so different and then we decided to finish the mapping based on how speech sounds.
Before this mapping, I thought a lot about how I use my cochlear implants. I’m not one to change the settings very often, so three slots seems to be plenty; however, while we were talking about it, I think I could have used five! I decided to have my daily map in slot one. In two we put the telecoil on as it seems I have had more opportunity this past year to use it. Slot three is my noise program. My new audi was pretty aggressive with the settings for shutting down background noise. In recent years, I have not had the IDR below 60. He put it at 40 and we talked for a bit. It was great, but I decided I could handle a little more background sound and asked him to put it at 50. He did that and also removed the boost to the low tones.
I had the opportunity to fly this weekend and tried out the noise program while traveling. It was great! I could still hear the announcements but I didn’t have to put up with the drone of the airport noise or the airplane noise. I simply told my husband to be sure he was near me when he wanted to talk. 
I have had my first cochlear implant for ten years and with the help of audiologists’, I’m still finding better ways to hear. Although I have been bummed when an audiologist I have gotten comfortable with retires or moves on in his/her career, it is always a joy to meet someone new and learn from their experience. 

I Can’t Hear You

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening5 Comments

I am the oldest of five. For the most part, my siblings and I share similar political beliefs. Unfortunately, our parents seem to feel quite the opposite, so if we happen to end up talking politics at a family gathering, a heated discussion may escalate into a shouting match. We are learning to avoid certain subjects.


Last time I was visiting my parents, while my mother and I were preparing breakfast, the conversation started dancing around a sensitive subject. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but I happened to announce where I stood on the issue. My dad didn’t agree and started on a tirade denouncing what I believe. Immediately I regretted having said anything but I was not going to back down. My mother was getting uncomfortable and wanted everyone to stop – which was fine with me, but dad was not getting the message. I was at the kitchen sink wiping a dish and dad had his back to me. I decided to give him the message visually. I put the dish down, wiped my hands, walked around to get in front of him and when he was looking at me, I reached up and with exaggeration I knocked my CI headpieces down to my shoulders. He got it. He looked at me and his mouth stopped moving. There I was in my silence feeling like a naughty child. I didn’t enjoy disrespecting my father, and I didn’t enjoy being disrespected.


I have shared the story of that incident with my girls and one of them said she finds herself wondering how many children with cochlear implants or hearing aids, have, or eventually will, take their hearing off in the face of being scolded or lectured. I suppose it is the equivalent of a hearing child plugging her ears with her fingers and taunting, “I can’t hear you.” With a CI it is much more dramatic and effective – but still naughty.

Trusting My Ears

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening, Music, What I Hear4 Comments

We had our piano tuned in November. When the girls come home, they enjoy playing some of their favorite songs as well as Christmas music and complain if the piano hasn’t been tuned, so this year I did manage to get the tuning scheduled and done.


While trimming the Christmas tree, I started thinking about the Christmas concert at the high school and the tradition they have carried out for many years of singing “Beautiful Savior” to close the concert. They invite choir alumni on stage to sing this hymn with the present choir and then the audience is invited to join in for the final verse.


I was never a soloist, but I participated in choir at high school and church through my junior year. Now with my cochlear implants, I have been trying to listen to my own voice and get the confidence back to sing. Since the piano had recently been tuned, I decided to pick out the melody of “Beautiful Savior” and try matching my voice to the notes. My thoughts were, “My piano is in tune, my hearing is great with my cochlear implants, this should work.”


As I picked my way through the first verse, I felt I was doing pretty good at matching my voice to the notes, but it sounded a bit off. I stopped singing and played the melody one note at a time and one spot sounded off to me, so I played the top two notes at a time, still off. Because I was unsure if I could trust my digital ears to be an accurate judge of whether or not a piano is in tune, I asked my husband when he came home to listen to the notes I was playing and tell me what he thought. To my surprise he said, “Yep, that one note sounds like it could be a little off.”


I emailed our piano tuner and he said he would come back and check it out. Our piano was Paul’s mother’s and is quite old. This piano has not been tuned regularly in the past ten years so it is not unusual for the tuning not to hold. The piano tuner came back, made some adjustments and now it sounds as good as the old piano can.


I have known for a while now that I would prefer a new digital piano and someday I hope to have one. From this old piano I learned that my new hearing is pretty awesome and I can trust what I think I hear. I remember the notes and how they are suppose to sound and my brain sings in tune. Now if my ears and my brain and my voice would all work together – maybe I could be that soloist I have always wanted to be. (*Dream*)

This Is Who I Am

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, Thoughts, What I Hear7 Comments

Sometimes a dream can seem so real that when you wake up you wonder if it happened. I had a dream like that last night and what I dreamt is impossible, but it seemed so real. I dreamt that my husband was leaving for work, on his way down the stair he said over his shoulder, “Good-bye,” and I responded, “Good-bye,” and then it hit me, I didn’t have my processors on. I said, “I heard that!” and Paul, knowing that I wasn’t hooked up, turned right around and came back upstairs. He was talking to me and I was repeating back to him what he was saying almost word for word. I would miss one now and then, but still we were thinking how could this be? 


After I was completely awake and thinking about this dream I realized it was like dreams I had after I quit smoking. I would dream that I smoked and then in the morning wonder if I did. I didn’t want to start again so I would be relieved that it was just a dream. I guess we dream about what we miss and I think I was missing those spontaneous moments that happen at the beginning or end of the day when I might not have my hearing prothesis on.


This dream surprised me and it feels like it came at an odd time. On the last Saturday we spent at our cabin before closing it up for the winter season, I felt like I had crossed a threshold. I got up that morning and Paul was preparing to take the boat to the storage place. He indicated that he was leaving and I knew I had at least an hour to myself. My normal routine in the morning is to get ready for the day and get my hearing on first thing. On this particular morning, knowing I didn’t need to communicate with anyone for awhile, I decided to relax in my comfortable pajamas, and linger over breakfast and coffee while I enjoyed the vision of the lake outside my window. Sitting in the silence, I came to realize that I have finally found peace with my deafness. 


It is okay. This is who I am.


I am a woman who puts on her hearing in the morning

and takes it off at night. 


I am a woman who sleeps in total silence

and wakes to the morning light. 


When I look out the window to see what kind of day it will be, 

I may notice the birds in the branches of a nearby tree.


I need not wonder if they are chirping or singing a song,

even though I knew their silence many years long.


It is now in my blessings a matter of choice,

If I want to hear birdsongs or the beautiful human voice.


The sounds of life are mine to have no matter the place,

And the silence is mine to choose, to reject or embrace.

Choosing a Cochlear Implant

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening11 Comments
You are at a point in your life where you have to make a life altering decision and choose a cochlear implant either for yourself or your child. Where do you start?
I had to make that decision eight years ago. After going through all the testing and qualifying for the cochlear implant, the audiologist gave me all the brochures he had from each of the companies and answered the questions I had that day. An appointment was then scheduled with a surgeon.
While the surgeon was willing to answer any questions l had about each appliance, he would not advise me in a way that indicated any favoritism of one company’s product over another’s. We picked the date for the surgery and then he said, “You will have to let us know which implant you want two weeks before the surgery.”  

Whether they realized it or not, both the audiologist and the surgeon gave me body language clues as to which product they thought was the best at the time. Since I was good at reading visual communication due to my hearing loss, those clues did not get past me.
Armed with my brochures, the answers I got from my audiologist and surgeon, I went home to read and discuss with my husband which implant to choose.
Eight years ago, that is what I had to work with to make my decision. I had to rely on the integrity of the companies whose brochures were going to tell me all about their cochlear implant. I knew what was most important to me and I was able to figure out which implant I wanted. I know I made the right decision and I am very happy with my cochlear implants and the company that makes them.
In the time that has passed since I had to choose a cochlear implant, independent studies have taken place and now a person trying to figure out which cochlear implant to choose has more information available to them when making their decision. The key here is to make sure you have an independent report and not a report that has been construed to favor a company that didn’t do well in the study.
Advanced Bionics made my cochlear implants. I received my first one in 2001 and had the other side done in 2007. The number one thing on my list when I was choosing my first implant was the ability to upgrade without surgery; to have an implant with internal technology that would grow with the science and that is what I have. There is six years between my two implants and I have modern cutting-edge technology on both sides and love the hearing I get with my two implants. My older implant was able to upgrade to the technology I was getting with my newer model on the other side. How great is that? 
For anyone making the decision today, it is still a difficult decision with even more information to peruse. As I learn more about the technology and advances, I know that Advanced Bionics would still be my choice today.

Click here to read an excellent and well researched article about choosing an implant.

Vaulted Ceilings and Wood Floors

On By Glenice SIn Acoustics, Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Environment, Hearing Loss, Listening, What I Hear5 Comments

Where I live, the popular home design for quite a while now has been vaulted ceilings and wood floors. I cannot think of another design in home planning that is more unfriendly to the hearing impaired except maybe smooth tile with vaulted ceilings. 


I really enjoy hearing with my cochlear implants and in most situations I hear very well. In my own home I have a combination of carpet and brick tile and my ceilings are flat and eight feet high. Sound doesn’t bounce or echo like it does in homes that I have been in with wood floors and vaulted ceilings. 


I find these homes to be so irritating the way sound bounces around that it is getting difficult for me to enjoy going to the homes of friends or family with vaulted ceilings and smooth floors. I don’t want to limit my social life again due to hearing issues when it seems like I have just gotten it back, but more and more I find myself in this situation as friends and family buy or build new homes.


Why are acoustics in home design ignored? Why is this design so popular? The world is  noisy enough without creating a situation in your home where noise is amplified. Do others think about the acoustics in their home or is it all about big space?


In my home I want cozy, warm, conversational space. No vaulted ceilings or floors that bounce sound for me.

It Feels Good to Feel Normal

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Hearing Loss, Listening, What I Hear2 Comments

Yesterday was eventful with two experiences to remind me how fortunate I am to have hearing with my cochlear implants.


It started out with a trip to the grocery store. I was driving down Main street when I noticed a motorcycle behind me. I “see” motorcycles because I used to have one and I try to be very aware as I was hit by an unaware driver on mine. So, I was keeping an eye on this guy as we left the changed light to move through the next block. Half way up the block I decided to take a right turn at the next light and I needed to change lanes. As I was preparing to signal and move over, I “heard” the motorcycle’s engine rev up and sure enough the impatient driver decided to pass me on the right. It was a stupid and unsafe move on his part that could have ended in an accident if I had not “heard” him because he moved into a blind spot and I would not have seen him. It was also ridiculous on his part as we both ended up waiting at the same light half a block ahead.


After the relief of a near miss, I was quite angered at this motorcycle driver as it is his kind of driving that gives motorcycle enthusiasts a bad rep and leads to accidents. If I would have had the opportunity to tell him so, I would have.


Next on my agenda yesterday was a trip to my audiologist to participate in a study regarding cochlear implant use. That involves a 40 mile drive to another city. I was ready early and thinking about leaving early when I decided to read the newspaper instead. Funny how the timing of things sometimes works out to put us in a certain place  at a certain time.


After reading the newspaper, I headed out. I was barely out of town on a county road heading for the highway when the SUV in front of me crossed into the oncoming lane, came back across both lanes, went into the ditch and rolled completely over. As I was pulling over, I was reaching into my purse for my cell phone and was on the line with 911 in a matter of seconds. I didn’t think, “Will I be able to hear them? Can I do this?” I just did. Another car pulled over and the man asked if I was on the line with 911 and I said, “Yes.” He proceeded ahead of me to the car to check on the driver. She appeared to be fine with only minor injuries. I stayed on the line with 911 to give them directions to where we were. 


Before my CI, I might have hit the motorcycle. Deaf people are very good drivers, but without sound we rely solely on our vision. Also before my CI, I wouldn’t have had a cell phone to call 911 after witnessing the rollover. I still would have stopped to help, but my assistance would have been very restrained by my limited communication.


It was a dramatic day with a roller coaster of emotions: relief, anger, shock, concerned panic, and relief again. As I finally calmed, relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the day, I thought, “It feels good to feel normal.”


Stunning – Susan Boyle

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Music3 Comments

I have watched this YouTube piece several times now and I just can’t seem to get enough. Like Piers says, this woman’s performance of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables is stunning. As Amanada said, it truly is a privilege to hear that , and the faces that Simon makes are priceless. He is fun to watch when he is impressed.

It is such an incredible joy to be able to “hear” a performance like that. To be able to hear the pureness of each note, the accent and the dynamics she put into her presentation. Watching the YouTube piece left me wanting more and I will definitely be watching for more from Susan Boyle.

It also left me feeling, once again, very grateful for my bionic ear; for the advances that have been made in inventions and medicine that allow me to hear with this amazing quality. All I have to do to know the alternative is take off my processors and there I am in the silence. What a relief and a blessing that I don’t have to live the rest of my life in that place.

The title links to a closed captioned version of Susan Boyle’s performance so you don’t have to miss the dialogue. The button to turn on the closed captioning is the arrow pointing up in the lower right hand corner of the video window. If you decide to take a look, I hope you enjoy the performance as much as I did.

Spring Song

On By Glenice SIn Bilateral, Cochlear Implant, Music, What I Hear3 Comments
I started spring cleaning yesterday. It is not warm enough to open the windows yet, so I was working in my closed up house dusting out window sills when I heard his song. The male cardinal singing to his girl. It is such a beautiful song and I could hear it through the window. Wow – I could hear it through the window with my bionic ears.

We have a pair of cardinals that seem to come back here each spring. Last year I almost succeeded in getting a good picture of the male and this year I plan to. He is beautiful with his bright red feathers. His girl is a little harder to spot. With nature’s natural protection for the mother of the offspring, she has browner feathers and blends in with the trees. I love watching these two flit around our yard and even better, I love that I can hear them. 

With the joyful sounds, come the annoying sounds and when I hear the squawking of the blackbird, I smile to myself and think, “Ah, yes, I must hear him too.” And I remember when I couldn’t hear him at all and I thank God for the blackbird’s call.

It seems that I write about hearing birds a lot. With my hearing loss starting in the high frequencies, they were one of the first sounds that I lost, so I didn’t hear them for over 20 years. It wasn’t something that I dwelled on or thought a lot about, but since I have gotten that hearing back, I simply cannot take it for granted and continue to be amazed.

It is finally spring and with it comes nature’s choir. Sometimes it is the hard rock of a blackbird’s squawk, or the simple twitter of a sparrow, or the beautiful song of a bright red cardinal singing to his girl.